OK, so you want some of your questions answered about my homosexuality. If you are a personal friend or acquaintance of mine, the information below is for you. If I don't know you, of course you are free to read this web page, but it isn't addressed to you.

So why are you telling me this?

I'm telling to you that I'm gay mainly for selfish reasons. I don't want to lie anymore, I don't want to conceal the homosexual part of me from anyone. Lying destroys self esteem. I'm working as hard to stay free of this burden.

If you're not interested, then skip reading the rest of this page. I'll assume you're OK with my homosexuality, and don't need further details. Great!

Does your admission that you are gay mean you are out of the closet?

I don't really like the term in the closet, but let's just say that I now tell the truth about my sexual orientation whenever the subject comes up. That wasn't always the case, but it is now. As I stated on my personal page, my sexual orientation isn't a big part of my life...but here it is, for what it's worth.

I would have rather found out about your sexual orientation personally, rather than reading about it here.

Fair enough. I haven't been forthcoming with this personal information in the past. I have to admit, I'm not too comfortable talking about my sexual orientation. I was raised in a very conservative family, where sex simply wasn't talked about. I realize that the popular trend among gay men is to "come out", and tell everyone. Despite not being comfortable with that approach, I have told most of my friends and coworkers in person. Others I have sent email to, especially friends I don't see often, or who are mainly email-type friends.

So now that you are "out", does this mean you are going to show gay characteristics, such as dressing or walking funny, developing a limp wrist or speaking with a lisp?

Ah, NO! What you have experienced in the past is my true personality and demeanour, and represents my normal taste in clothes. I am quite conservative in my lifestyle, so don't assume that will change, just because I'm trying to be more open about my sexual orientation.

I guess I'll assume when I see you with your male friends, that they are also gay.

Wrong! Most of my friends are straight (as far as I know). I haven't asked them about their sexual orientation, and it doesn't really factor into our friendships (from my perspective). I don't believe in living in the gay ghetto, i.e., associating exclusively with gays. 90% of the general population is straight, if you believe the statisticians. My aim is always to be fully integrated into the general population, not just the gay community. This doesn't mean I'm going to ignore or shun the gay community that is alive and well in Victoria, it just means I'm going to try to keep things as balanced as I can. My partner Kirk holds the same opinion, so we will continue to be integrated into society as a whole, not just gay society.

Do you have AIDS?

No, I do not have AIDS, and I am HIV negative. I have never had a sexually-transmitted disease of any kind. I have taken precautions all my adult life. I have always practiced safe sex (long before it was popularized), do not use illicit drugs, and generally take my good health very seriously. I am also not promiscuous by any stretch of the imagination. I lead a very quiet life, and live in a monogamous relationship with my partner Kirk.

Are you bisexual? You have mentioned a former girlfriend in past conversations, so what gives?

My past includes a 12 year monogamous relationship with a women. At the time, I was very serious about integrating with the straight population, living up to the expectations of my parents and family, and generally trying to suppress my homosexuality.

I carried it off for a long time, but reluctantly, I came to the conclusion that I was only fooling myself. In the process, I hurt someone who I dearly loved. That's something I will have to live with the rest of my life, but I can't turn back the clock on this big mistake. All I can do is learn from the experience, and try to never take that path again.

I don't consider myself bisexual - I am homosexual. Although I function adequately in a heterosexual relationship, my strong preference is living in a monogamous, homosexual relationship.

Do you live two lives - one gay, one straight?

I've always tried to live one life. The problem is, the straight orientation just didn't work for me!  I don't worry about mixing my gay and straight friends at get togethers. I don't know if each knows about the other's lifestyles, and I don't care. Sexual orientation doesn't matter to me when forming friendships, and so far, I haven't encountered any discrimination based on my sexual orientation. Some might say "no wonder - you have hidden your gay lifestyle in the past" - fair comment. That's the way I chose to live my life previously, but I'm working to be more honest with everyone now and in the future.

Do your parents and close family know you are gay?

Since I live openly with another man, most of my family know the score...it's pretty obvious to anyone with their eyes open!

Now that I know you are gay, do I tell others, or keep quiet?

Please feel free to talk to whomever you wish about my homosexuality. If they need more information, ask them to checkout these web pages, or better yet, suggest that they talk to me directly.

So when did you decide that you were gay?

A person doesn't get to choose their sexual orientation. I've been attracted to men all my life, and I've understood those feelings since puberty. So...I didn't suddenly decide that I was gay. I've just decided to not lie about it anymore, and not conceal this part of me from friends, family and co-workers.

I guess I can't tell you any gay jokes anymore.

Hopefully, I haven't lost my sense of humour! Providing the joke isn't downright insulting, by all means tell it to me. Besides, as you know, I can't remember jokes even if my life depended on it!